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- š¼ Iām not a child-hating monster
š¼ Iām not a child-hating monster
I know. That's exactly what a child-hating monster would say.
Iāve been asked required to cover for colleagues on parental leave twice in my career.
š¼ In both cases, the company was a large, blue chip corporation.
š¼ In both cases, the person I was covering for was my boss.
š¼ And in both cases, I had a great relationship with that boss, and was genuinely thrilled for them to be welcoming a baby.
Iām not a child-hating monster. š¤·
But I can definitely throw a temper tantrum. š¤¦
š» THE DRUNK BUSINESS ADVICE
š Just do the right thing. Quietly.
š We all underestimate how deeply our environments can influence our behavior. So choose your environment wisely.
And now ā the story behind why this advice matters. šļø
But firstā¦
Turning problems into wine š·
This weekās reader question šļø
āI want to build a marketplace like Airbnb for long term furnished rentals. Can low-code tools handle something that complex?ā
āMiguel, San Diego
What Jesus has to say šļø
They absolutely can ā but only if youāre thoughtful about how you build it.
Marketplaces are tricky because of how many moving parts you have:
Listings
Payments
Profiles
Messaging
Reviews
If you try to DIY it with the wrong tool, you'll end up duct-taping together 12 different platforms, and itāll collapse the minute you get real users.
When we build marketplaces at LowCode Agency, we usually go with Bubble.
So yes, you can go full-Airbnb. Just probably not in a weekend.
And Iād be happy to help. Iām always excited to hop on a call and jam out on startup ideas.
-Jesus
Have a tech question? Get an answer from Jesus + get featured in an upcoming issue!
Jesus Vargas is the owner of LowCode Agency, a badass software development agency that builds custom apps twice as fast, and for half the cost, of traditional software developers. Each week, Jesus answers your tech questions. His sponsorship of Drunk Business Advice keeps this content free. š
Of course they had to pay me
The first time I covered parental leave, my (male) boss was planning to take about a month off to welcome his second child ā which was offered to him fully paid by our employer, Grollo Group.
His responsibilities were to be split between myself and our finance manager.
I was, frankly, honored to be chosen. At the time, I was only 22, and already the youngest person in our departmentās senior management team. There were plenty of older and more experienced folks who could have been tapped to step in.
But they wanted me. š„°
OMG OMG OMG! Source: Tenor
As we sat down to begin planning for his absence, I learned that I would be receiving extra pay for the extra responsibility I was undertaking.
Score! š¤
I hadnāt even thought to ask about pay when they first approached me ā I was just excited for the opportunity to sit in the most senior seat.
But I quickly realized that of course they had to pay me for taking on a ton of extra work. Theyād be assholes not to.
And I ended up working for every cent of it. During the month I was in charge, I had to deal with:
A sexual harassment claim against another manager.
A massive safety violation, where I had to suspend three employees and conduct an investigation, leading to the termination of one of them.
And all the daily challenges that come with having ~100 employees under my purview.
But in the end, I got some great experience, the business didnāt suffer while my boss got some distraction-free PTO with his family, and I was compensated fairly for the extra work.
This experience left me feeling incredibly valued, and as a result, I was more loyal and committed to my job than ever before. My boss felt the same way.
Everybody won.
Fast forward 14 yearsā¦
The second time I covered parental leave, my boss was a first-time mom, taking full advantage of our companyās generous 3-month maternity allowance.
I was thrilled for her when I found out she was expecting, but I was also a little concernedā¦
The tech behemoth we worked for (rhymes with PubSnot) wore ācultureā like badge of honor. āCultureā was the center of every conversation. One of the founders even published a widely-circulated manifesto on ācultureā. šļø
Yes, I cherry-picked some of the more perplexing slides, but you can see it in its entirety here.
Why am I putting ācultureā in air quotes, you ask?
Margaret Thatcher famously said, "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are ā you aren't."
And thatās what was happening here.
Of course companies have culture.
Of course itās vital for company leaders to intentionally craft that culture.
And of course itās helpful to create language that helps express the tenets of the companyās culture.
But PubSnot was shrieking āLOOK AT OUR CULTURE ISNāT IT AMAZING OMG I LOVE WORKING HERE OMG WEāRE ALL SO LUCKY OMG,ā like a cheerleader on meth.
It was a tidal-wave of toxic positivity, conveniently washing over their beach of bullshit.
I was already doing two jobs
When news arose about my bossās upcoming parental leave, I had recently taken on a new role in an adjacent department, and my old boss hadnāt yet found a replacement for my previous role.
I soon learned that they werenāt planning to find a replacement (not something that was in the cards when I agreed to take the new role, but whatever).
So I was⦠kinda doing both. But I wasnāt doing either of them particularly well, at least by my standards, and the standards our customers had come to expect.
And I had serious concerns about my reputation suffering as a result.
My bossās responsibilities were to be split while she was away, and while I didnāt expect it to be nearly as much extra work as the first time I covered for a boss on parental leave ā this time it would be for three months.
And I was already attempting to perform two jobs, with a sliver of the resources required to deliver a quality product. š¤¦
š (Side note ā itās fine to de-prioritize a product, and scale back the team that delivers it, as part of a strategy that gets communicated to customers. But we were delivering pepperoni-less pizza to a house party of meat-lovers, and just hoping they wouldnāt notice. It was bonkers.)
To pull all this off, I was going to need to work my ass off.
So when I found out that PubSnot was not in the practice of providing any compensation to employees who cover for those on parental leave, I truly lost my shit. š”
Iām not proud of how I behaved
I saw red.
I ruthlessly spat vitriol at my 8.5-month pregnant boss, and her boss, both of whom I truly liked, respected, and enjoyed working with.
I demanded a raise. I threatened to quit. I threw my relationships with these people under the bus, and acted like a total tool.
Actual footage of my behavior that week. Source: Giphy
They went to bat for me (when they probably should have just told me to kick rocks for being such an asshole), but HR declined their attempts to get me fair compensation.
The companyās official position?
āCovering for someone for THREE MONTHS isnāt extra work that you deserve to be paid for ā itās an opportunity to show the company how smart and capable you are.ā
What a load of vacuous malarkey.
But that bold and clarifying statement made me realize why I had so uncharacteristically lost my shit on colleagues who didnāt deserve to be on the receiving end of my temper tantrumā
And it wasnāt the āextra work for no extra payā part of it.
šļø It was the goddamn hypocrisy.
The company was bragging, āLOOK AT HOW NOBLE AND GENEROUS WE ARE, GIVING THIS NEW MOM THREE MONTHS OF PAID MATERNITY LEAVE!ā
But they were stealing from their other employees in order to do it ā and gaslighting the f*ck out of us when we questioned it.
It reminded me of how cult leaders exploit the loyalty and generosity of their members to weave a cloak of moral superiority and make themselves rich.
Yāall ā my company was using the same playbook as actual cults.
I had to get out of there.
A tale of two babies. (Both are me.)
As I think back to how my bossās parental leave was handled at Grollo Group, Iām even more perplexed by how PubSnot chose to do business.
Grollo Group quietly did the right thing. The simple thing. The easy thing.
And that simple, easy thing helped build a culture of accountability, appreciation, and support. They werenāt a perfect company, but they cared far more about doing good than looking good. And that strategy paid dividends for them.
They were walking the walk.
PubSnot, on the other hand, put 100% of their energy into talking the talk. And thatās one expensive talk.
I suspect the investments they made in all of their various manipulation ācultureā initiatives far outweigh the expense of simply doing the right thing. And I know the ROI isnāt there.
I would point to my own behavior as evidence of this.
š At Grollo Group, I basically was a baby ā a green 22-year-old with very little experience. But Iām astonished when I recall the maturity and professionalism with which I managed a string of highly sensitive situations. Where the hell did that come from?
š At PubSnot, I was an accomplished 36-year-old woman acting like a baby. I whined. I gossiped. I threw temper tantrums. I cringe when I think about it. I was the worst version of myself.
(Hell, itās still got a little bit of a hold on me. Iām calling the company āPubSnotā for Christās sake.)
While I take responsibility for my actions in all of these scenarios, this is such a poignant reminder of how deeply our environments can influence our behavior.
So choose your environment wisely.
And if youāre the one creating the environment, honestly ask yourself:
Are doing good ā or just looking good?
Cheers! š»
-Kristin :-)
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