I met Heather about five years ago at a networking event.

We spoke nonstop for over an hour, and I walked away from our conversation beaming with energy and optimism.

I had found a new friend. ♥️

Heather owns a successful marketing agency, and is insatiably curious. She has her finger on the pulse of emerging tech, market trends, and buyer psychology. 

Over the years, I’ve referred a bunch of clients to her, and even invited her to speak at multiple events (where she absolutely slayed every time).

It’s no surprise that Heather is on top of her content game. Blogs, newsletters, social media — she knows it’s important to publish her stories, her advice, and her ideas.

This isn’t just her business’s pipeline — she’s hedging her future.

But when I began following Heather’s digital presence, I only had one feeling…

Ick. 😣

🍻 THE DRUNK BUSINESS ADVICE 

👉 You’re already sitting on a goldmine of insight. And you’re wasting it if you’re not turning it into content that attracts, teaches, or sells.

👉 But if you’re posting bland, robotic shit — it’s hurting you. (Even if it’s not AI.)

And now — the story behind why this advice matters. 👇️ 

But first…

Turning problems into wine 🍷

This week’s reader question 👇️ 

“I have a consulting business. I’m thinking about updating my website, but worried about spending a ton on something that doesn’t really matter much, since most of my clients come from referrals. Should I even bother?”

–Alex, Atlanta

What Jesus has to say 👇️ 

To be blunt — your website doesn’t matter because you’re not making it matter.

And even if someone finds their way to you through a referral, they’re going to look at your website. If it’s shitty, you’re already losing trust.

I worked with August Point Advisors, a hospitality consultancy facing the same issue. Their website wasn’t pulling in leads. 

In just three weeks, we relaunched their site on Webflow, with a sharper brand identity, clearer messaging, and stronger CTAs. In the first few months they received 85% more qualified leads, and 127% more newsletter signups.

Why the jump? 

Because we designed the site to actually speak to the right audience and make it ridiculously easy for them to take action.

I’d love to help you do the same. Let’s chat.

-Jesus

Have a tech question? Get an answer from Jesus + get featured in an upcoming issue!

Jesus Vargas is the owner of LowCode Agency, a badass software development agency that builds custom apps twice as fast, and for half the cost, of traditional software developers. Each week, Jesus answers your tech questions. His sponsorship of Drunk Business Advice keeps this content free. 🙏 

Heather isn’t a bad writer

She’s consistent. She has good hooks. Her stories deliver practical value (if you actually read them).

But they aren’t her.

This is a person who I truly like, admire, and believe in. She’s absolutely teeming with interesting outlooks, and good stuff to share.

But if I didn't know Heather, and I encountered her content out in the wild, I would scroll right by, believing she’s a carbon copy of every other banal business influencer on the internet.

Because, unfortunately, she is.

So she’s doing all this work — showing up, writing, publishing — but why? It’s not attracting opportunities. It’s not winning over the hearts and minds of the people she wants to influence.

If anything, I might argue it’s actually hurting her.

Since generative AI entered the mainstream, thousands more vapid voices join the noise every damn day, and people are starting to get really annoyed with this shit clogging up their feeds.

So why does this happen?

Heather is not dumb. She’s not boring. In fact, she’s pretty f*cking brilliant, interesting, and compassionate.

So why is her writing blander than boiled chicken? 

It’s not her fault. Heather is making the same mistakes that plague generations of smart people who learned to write to please arrogant professors instead of real people. 

(The same shit AI language models were trained on.)

Mistakes like these. 👇

📝 Writing for approval instead of connection. If you’re trying to impress, you’re not trying to relate. And readers can feel that. No one likes a show-off.

📝 Hiding behind fancy jargon. Reading about how you “pivoted due to market dynamics”, instead of how you panicked when your launch tanked, makes real humans roll their eyes. 🙄

📝 Only focusing on outcomes, and forgetting the struggle behind them. If readers can’t connect to the climb, they won’t give a damn about the summit. Skipping the struggle makes the story feel pompous, not personable.

📝 And sooooo many others….

👉 Be honest — are you guilty of these?

You know where this is going…

I want to help Heather. I want to help you. And selfishly, I want to rid my feed of pedantic parrots.

So I’m (nervously) thrilled to introduce a BRAND NEW newsletter:

Drunk Writing Advice is a behind-the-scenes, semi-sober breakdown of the creative process and practical shit (like -gasp!- using AI) that goes into producing Drunk Business Advice. 

How meta. 😏

Drunk Writing Advice is guaranteed to help you:

• Write faster, and hit harder.

• Build a reputation that gets you paid.

• Connect the dots between what you know — and what the world needs to hear.

Each issue will feature exercises to unlock your stories and sharpen your voice, tactical lessons for writing online, and real talk about the pain of putting yourself out there.

It’s a whisky shot for anyone who’s ever nervously hit “post”. 🥃 

The first issue drops on July 1st. 😬

(I’ll probably have 20 whisky shots before nervously hitting post on that one.)

And because I love y’all (seriously, I do), I’m offering you an annual membership for less than $7/month. 🤯

‼️ Warning — this offer is only good through June 30. So get on it.

“Why TF should we listen to you?”

I mean, harsh. But ok. Fair question.

You should listen to me because I’m not a trained writer. I’m a businessperson (just like you) who started writing a newsletter and posting on LinkedIn.

And bluntly, I’ve been crushing it.

In the last year, I’ve had more opportunities thrown at me than panties at all five members of One Direction.

Stuff like…

• A job at Google (thanks but no).

• Multiple speaking opportunities (heck yes).

• Multiple book opportunities (double heck yes).

• And one reader even asked me to take over as CEO of his company (yes, this was a serious offer 🤯).

I used to exhaustingly spin my wheels trying to generate business opportunities — to embarrassingly little avail. (I truly suck at sales and marketing).

Now, I’m sitting back with glass of wine while revealing my biggest f*ck-ups to the world.  And pretty much every week, I get at least one message asking if I’m available to freelance, open to joining a startup, or interested in consulting on a project.

But instead of taking that easy money, I’ve (perhaps stupidly?) doubled down on my own vision for the future.

So not only have I been honing my writing skills — I’ve been testing my teaching skills with some truly badass business leaders. And it turns out, this shit works on people other than me. 👇

Look — you’re already sitting on a goldmine of insight. But you don’t know how to turn it into content that attracts, teaches, or sells.

This isn’t just about writing better— 

It’s about becoming magnetic. Undeniable. The kind of voice people follow, quote, and pay to speak with.

So join me.

Hey, at the very least, you’ll get a peek behind the chaotic curtain of Drunk Business Advice. 😉

Welcome to the shit show. 👏 

Cheers! 🍻

-Kristin :-)

P.S. — “Heather” is a pseudonym, but this is a very real friend of mine.

P.P.S. — Yes, I want to address this with her, but she hasn’t asked for advice. If you’ve got tips for how to tactfully bring it up, I’m all ears!

P.P.P.S — I hope she just signs up for Drunk Writing Advice so we can avoid a very uncomfortable conversation. 🤷

And don’t forget, Drunk Business Advice is FREE because of Jesus Vargas, and his team at LowCode Agency — so show ‘em some love!

Follow @lowcodeagency LinkedIn, Facebook, X, and YouTube.

Whether you need help building an MVP, creating software to run your business, or even just a badass website, I highly recommend the savvy team over at LowCode!