I’ve been asked that question. A lot.

It might be because I’ve put some big companies on blast in this newsletter. Or because I’ve told painfully icky stories of startup shenanigans and corporate bullshit. Or because, on occasion, I’ve named and shamed.

But no, I’m not afraid of being sued. 

Though while it may appear that I’m just over here shitposting and running my mouth, I approach every word thoughtfully, and with purpose. 

And frankly, we need more voices doing the same.

👉 If you quietly walk away from dysfunction, you give it permission to keep operating (and keep harming others).

👉 Being “professional” isn’t code for “shutting up”. You can call out the shady stuff, loudly, without losing your professionalism. It just takes discernment.

👉 And I bet you’ll meet some great people along the way.

And now — the story behind why this advice matters. 👇

We’ve all received this advice: never burn a bridge.

If you need to quit a toxic job, or fire an asshole client, or dump a lying co-founder, the safest course of action (according to many smart people who I respect) is to do it quietly and with “professionalism”.

Why pick a fight? Why risk a bad reference? Why invite drama?

Look — I get it. I truly used to feel this way, too. And in some cases, I still do. Some bridges probably shouldn’t be burned.

But speaking as someone who has crossed to the dark side, I can tout the benefits of swapping “quiet quitting” for “loud leaving”—

And it’s not just about the feeling of pure relief as you’re telling your miserable miscreant boss to “eat dirt” on your way out the door, or shooting off a final email to your impossibly demanding client that says, “Ya know what? Do it without me. See how that works out.”

How many times have you been in a professional relationship that went south, and thought:

“F*ck. If I had only known then what I know now, I never would have jumped into business-bed with them.”

Well… if you quietly separated from them, and skipped on your merry way, then you’ve left the door open for the next person to be equally screwed.

No judgement — I’ve done this a TON. The choice to quietly separate from a toxic entity is often made from the perspective of perfectly reasonable self-preservation. It’s not your job to warn others. But it is your job to protect your own reputation.

Speaking out can feel like mutually assured destruction.

If you call them out publicly, what’s to stop them from spouting lies about you? What’s to stop them from burying you in a lawsuit? What’s to stop them from throwing all of their energy into bringing you down with them?

That’s a very rational fear. And most folks don’t have the stomach to face it.

But for those who do — the risk can be balanced by good discernment. 

Which means…

“Loud leaving” isn’t a pass to just whine to the masses about how you’ve been mistreated. In fact, it’s as much of an opportunity for self-reflection as it is a platform to highlight wrongdoing on the part of others.

This is something I’ve had to learn since I began opening up about my experiences through this newsletter. I still haven’t “mastered” it. I still make mistakes. I still let my emotions overwhelm me. 

But I’ve gotten a lot better. 🤷

Here are a few litmus tests that have helped:

To say a company or individual is “toxic” or “evil” or just generally “shitty” without any specifics, or verifiable details, is just a smear campaign. Sure, it makes them look bad, but it also makes YOU look bad.

And it can backfire — badly.

You must be prepared for anything you put out into public discourse to be challenged. So if you don’t have specific details, supported by stuff like emails, contracts, timelines, screen shots… you should probably just shut up and move on with your life.

For example, while it may be true, this is an unwise public statement to make:  “XYZ company is the worst client I’ve ever had. They refuse to pay their freelancers.”

Try something like this instead: “XYZ company expanded their scope by 40% without a change order, and when I proposed pricing for the revised scope, they cut off contact and refused to pay for work that had already been delivered under the terms of our initial agreement.”

The first one sounds like a tantrum. The second one offers specific, verifiable evidence that yeah, they are a terrible client who refused to pay one of their freelancers.

It’s proof.

Some people deserve a hostile takedown, so I’m not saying you shouldn't do it — but focus on their behavior (again, be specific), and respond to it in a tone that’s proportional to their actions.

(I just noticed I keep bringing up war strategies… “mutually assured destruction"... “proportional responses”. I think I might be on to something here…)

This means that you need to match the volume to the harm. A boss who threatens and harasses you warrants louder action than, say, a boss who constantly shifts deliverables at the last minute, making your job 10x more difficult than it should be.

Both behaviors deserve to be called out.

But threats and harassment is behavior that should probably get someone fired, whereas shifting deliverables usually means that boss just needs to be confronted with how their behavior is negatively impacting their team’s performance.

So choose your response accordingly.

Let’s face it — you’re probably not 100% innocent in this situation.

And if you pretend that you are, people probably won’t believe it. 

So as you’re reflecting on the poor behavior of others, and how shitty it all made you feel, reflect on your own behavior, and how that behavior may have made the situation worse. Then ‘fess up.

You’ll learn a lot about yourself through that process. And you’ll be better prepared to cope with conflict in the future.

And there’s another unexpected benefit — taking accountability for the role you played in the business breakup, even if it was just ignoring red flags, can earn you respect, and perhaps over time, even trust.

Which leads me to the primary reason you should start speaking up:

And repel the ones you don’t want to work with.

So while you’re burning one bridge (that, frankly, leads to a place you never want to venture back to), you’re building ten more bridges that lead to places filled with badasses who share your values.

And you’re sending up a signal flare to potential bad actors that shrieks “I don’t tolerate bullshit.”

Without question my favorite thing about writing Drunk Business Advice has been meeting YOU.

When I receive responses to my emails that say: 

“Holy shit, I was in this exact same situation, and I felt so alone. Now I don’t anymore.”

Or…

“Thanks for finally telling the truth.”

Or…

“I love your vibe. How can we work together?”

…it means that one more incredible human has joined my circle, and one more relationship that could spark amazing opportunities for everyone involved has been seeded.

That alone makes speaking out worth the risk. ♥️

Cheers! 🍻

-Kristin

P.S. — To all my American friends, I hope you have a delightful Thanksgiving this week, followed by a restful turkey-and-wine-induced-nap! 🦃 🍷 😴