Alright — two issues down, a million to go!

For those who joined our little club in the last week, welcome! You can catch up on the first issue here if you like. ♥️

If you hit reply to this week’s email, you’ll get an OOO message from me—

Because I’m currently in Boston supporting the executive students I’ve been advising for the last year as they present their theses and graduate. 🥹

I feel like I blinked and went from student to advisor. 👇

But don’t worry, I’ll reply to your message as soon as I’m back at my desk, so don’t hold back feedback on the kind of Drunk Writing Advice you want to see in the future!

-Kristin 🍷

🍻 In this week’s issue of Drunk Writing Advice:

✏️ Sentence School: A “series of events” is boring as f*ck. Here’s what to do instead.

🥃 The Writer’s Pour: A trick to easily identify patterns and meaning in your personal stories.

🎙️ Drunk Talk: Growing DBA makes me want to huddle in a corner and cry.

🤖 Robot Pals: This week, AI was my due diligence buddy.

And then… 🤮

Last week, we discussed how the human brain naturally seeks out patterns and meaning in stories. 

And the best writers make them stupidly easy to find.

But when we’re telling stories about our real-world experiences, this is really hard to do — because our memories recall these experiences as a series of events. 👇

One thing happened 👉 Then the next thing happened 👉 Then the next thing happened 👉 On and on until a giant hook yanks you off the stage with the force of an angry toddler.

For example:

• My boss dismissed my idea in a meeting…

• AND THEN I started not caring about my job…

• AND THEN I got called into a performance review…

• AND THEN I quit. 🤦

This is how most people write. They’re simply communicating their story in the same way they’re recalling their memory. Telling stories this way is flat, boring, and cringy.

And I think this is why a lot of people shy away from writing about their personal experiences—

Because people who write this way come across as self-important assholes, and no one wants to be that guy. 🤷

But I’ve got a trick that will help you recall memories in the way that’s most natural to you, and easily extract patterns and meaning. And it starts with terrible writing.

The power of “Because” and “Therefore”

You can clean up a shoddy “and then” story with two magic words:

1. Because

2. Therefore

These words transform a boring string of events into an explosive chain reaction.

👉 “Because” creates cause and effect. Whatever action takes place before the “because” is the cause, and after the “because” is the effect. That’s your pattern.

👉 “Therefore” uncovers consequence. That’s your meaning.

So let’s add the word “because” to our earlier example:

• My boss dismissed my idea in the meeting… 

  • BECAUSE he was adamant about always appearing to be the smartest guy in the room.

• AND THEN I started not caring about my job… 

  • BECAUSE I realized that I was never going to feel valued at work.

• AND THEN I got called into a performance review… 

  • BECAUSE it was clear to everyone that I was unhappy.

• AND THEN I decided that it was time to quit… 

  • BECAUSE my boss was never going to provide the validation and upward mobility I needed.

Do you see how adding the word “because” connects the events emotionally and logically?  Every beat has a cause and effect.

NOTE — If you can’t come up with a "because" for one of your “and then” events, question its relevance. Is it driving the story forward, or is it an unnecessary detail?

Finally, we need to address the meaning of all this by adding a consequence — the lesson that you want your reader to walk away with at the end.

And that’s where adding the word “therefore” comes in:

• AND THEN I decided that it was time to quit… 

  • BECAUSE my boss was never going to provide the validation and upward mobility I needed.

    • THEREFORE it’s important to recognize the signs of a toxic workplace early, and make changes before it impacts your mental health, your reputation, and your career.

Voila! Now you have an outline packed with pattern and meaning. It can be wordsmithed into a punchy social post, or you can add vivid scenes and emotional details to transform it into a compelling long-form essay.

Now let’s play with it…

Dive into some exercises to put what you’ve just learned about the power of “Because” & “Therefore” into practice. 👇️ 

Here’s an example…

Here’s an example…

Here’s an example…

The Growther-Coaster

This is an actual screen shot of Drunk Business Advice’s subscriber “growth” in the month of June. 🤦

In a subscription business, there are two key growth factors:

1. Bringing in new subscribers

2. Reducing the churn of current subscribers

Reducing Churn

Let’s talk about #2 first. If DBA was a SaaS tool or tactical newsletter instead of long-form spicy stories, I’d be throwing hella energy into reducing churn by analyzing why people are quitting—

And doing everything I can to improve the product so they stick around.

But DBA doesn’t serve a practical purpose. The people who love it simply connect to the stories. When they read it, they feel entertained, uplifted, and even validated.

As a writer, that’s a really important role to play, and I’m honored.

But it also means that not everyone who subscribes is going to connect with what I’m doing. For them, DBA is clogging up their crowded inbox, or worse, offending them. 😬

And it’s really hard to filter those ambiguous factors when you’re…

Bringing in new subscribers

You’re in my inner-circle now, so I’m going to be honest with you—

I f*cking tank at growth marketing. It gives me a stomach ache.

As a solo-operator, it’s overwhelming to spend meaningful time producing strong editorial week after week, while simultaneously marketing the shit out of it. 

Because let’s face it — without heaps of cash to spend on ads, “growth marketing” looks like:

• Engaging on LinkedIn nonstop

• Creating and executing referral programs

• Scrounging for cross-promotions

• Guest posting / going on podcasts

• Begging for shout-outs

• Attending events and conferences

• And constantly chasing every little opportunity to move the needle on subscriber growth.

It’s mania. And I’m exhausted. But…

It’s working 🤷 

Let’s look at subscriber growth year-to-date. 👇

I’m slowly (but surely) growing the group of people who love DBA, month over month.

It’s a trot.

Not a gallop.

And not a rollercoaster (even though it feels like one).

So let this be your reminder to zoom out, and enjoy the ride.

—

NOTE — Even though I’m limited in actions I can take to reduce subscriber churn, I still analyze it! I ask every single unsub for feedback, and a lot of them answer. 👇

Get shit done faster

You may have seen on Sunday that I announced a Live Podcast with the legendary Jesus Vargas (you should definitely come!).

Hosting something like this requires some sort of “webinar” platform, and I’ve had success with Zoom’s webinar function before. But when I went to set it up, I realized that it’s not covered under my current Zoom subscription.

Before immediately upgrading, I wanted to see if the same functionality was possible through another platform I pay for — Calendly.

So I asked ChatGPT:

I opened up my Calendly account, and started working through the steps (which would have taken me ages to figure out on my own). 

And within a couple minutes of following those steps, I realized that while it was technically possible to do this through Calendly, the registration flow would be wacky for the user.

So I abandoned the Calendly idea, and upgraded my Zoom account. 

In less than 5 minutes, I performed due diligence on a cheaper option, made a decision, and moved on with my life. 

Without AI, I probably would have spent an hour or two figuring this shit out.

I don’t take my place in your inbox for granted.

It’s an honor to be welcomed into your world, and I know I have to work to continue to earn it, week after week. So if you have feedback, or if there’s a topic you want me to cover, just hit reply and tell me!

And if you love Drunk Writing Advice, consider sharing it with a friend. 🥰