Today, I’m doing something I’ve never done before, and never planned to do. 😬 

And it’s all because of a Drunk Business Advice reader named Ernie.

Seriously — this is a real dude.

Ernie broke all the rules and applied to my invite-only entrepreneur mastermind — without being invited. 🤨

Bold move.

But the case he made was so unbelievably strong that I would have been a fool to turn him away.

Because of Ernie, and how badass he is, I’ve decided to open applications for Stealth Mastermind for the first time — ever.

👉️ But only for Drunk Business Advice readers. 🍻

👉️ And only for two weeks. ✌️

—

Are you an entrepreneur? Want to apply?

Here’s what you need to do 👇

• Go here

• Hit “apply”

• When the application asks “Who invited you?”, write “Ernie the Attorney” 

And read the rest of this email to learn WTF you’re signing up for. 🤷 

F*ck networking

I loathe “business networking”.

It conjures up images of name tags, watered-down cocktails, and awkward conversations with people who have had too many of those watered-down cocktails. 🍸

It’s the cultish BNI chants that will make you think you’ve mistakenly stumbled into a church basement AA meeting.

It's the LinkedIn DM that feigns authenticity, and farts self-importance. 💨

👉️ It’s cheap.

👉️ It’s transactional.

👉️ And it leaves even the most extroverted person torn between taking an immediate shower to wash off the bullshit, and cocooning into a snuggie for all eternity.

I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve participated in more “business networking” than should ever be allowed in one lifetime.

• Countless conferences.

• Hellish happy hours.

• And yes, I was once even a glassy-eyed BNI member. 🤮

When you’re an entrepreneur in the B2B space, it’s kind of a necessary evil. 😬

Looking back, I’ve spent cumulative months of my life forcing myself into networking opportunities, which rarely resulted in anything that positively impacted my business — or my humanity.

Instead, I connected with people like one particular “executive coach”, who after giving me her elevator pitch, insisted that I repeat it back to her, and scolded me when I failed to correctly articulate her value proposition.

“How are you going to bring me new clients if you can’t communicate what I do?”

Bitch, we just met.

You’re a horrible human, and an unclear value prop isn’t what’s blocking me from referring clients to you. 🙄

And of course, I can’t talk about business networking without bringing up the countless unwanted sexual advances. I could write an entire book dedicated to those stories, but I’m choosing to unhealthily suppress them.

There had to be a better way.

How the IRS actually helped me

This story begins with every business owner's worst nightmare — an IRS audit.

The reason I was being audited was because my company reported a single expense that was both massive and inconsistent with previous years’ expenses.

👉 It was my Harvard executive program tuition.

And the IRS needed me to clarify my intent behind enrollment. This could be easily proven by statements made in my application, which was part of my “official” record at Harvard.

The administration agreed to release that record to support my case. 🙏

But when I read it, I cringed — not because it didn’t contain the information I needed to satisfy the IRS requirements — but because of something else I said. 😣

“If accepted, one of the things I most look forward to is quality networking.”

At this point, I was a year into the program, and “quality networking” was the shittiest way to describe the connections I made there.

Those relationships were life-changing.

They were the most profound friendships I had ever experienced.

They amplified my potential, squashed my imposter syndrome, and provided me with the support I needed to accomplish career ambitions I had never dreamed of.

My professional transformation had little to do with the classroom, and everything to do with my new friends.

This wasn’t “quality networking”.

This was my new religion. ✝️

So I decided to try an experiment

The education we received at Harvard was great, but the relationships we built with each other were far greater. My classmates collectively agreed on this.

I wondered — if Harvard (as an institution) was removed from the equation, but we had still been brought together as a group, would we have developed transformational relationships?

Or would it have devolved into cheap “business networking”?

I decided to experiment with this idea. My hypothesis was that I wouldn’t be able to replicate my Harvard community experience — but I could get pretty damn close.

So last November, I brought together 38 badass entrepreneurs, and launched a discreet mastermind. 

What exactly made these entrepreneurs “badass”? How do you measure this?

It’s a scientific process, I assure you. 😉

Here are the qualities I looked for—

• 😆 Has made me laugh at least once.

• 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Gains personal satisfaction from helping friends.

• 📈 Not content with the status quo of their business, and looking for a transformational experience.

Here’s what I didn’t care about—

• How much revenue their business generates.

• What stage they’re in.

• What industry they’re in.

The latter factors are typically how members are screened for business communities, with little or no emphasis placed on the factors that I wanted to double-down on.

And while it makes sense to categorize people by tangible factors like revenue, fundraising stage, and industry, there were plenty of masterminds already doing that. 

I knew in my gut that the transformational experience I had at Harvard was directly related to the intangible outlooks of my classmates — not how much money they made.

So I convinced some unbelievably cool entrepreneurs to join me as founding members, and called this thing Stealth Mastermind.

Eureka!

I started rolling out programming, and experimented with different formats that included:

• Opportunities for both learning and teaching

• Structured accountability for goals and projects

• In-person and virtual socialization

And incredible things happened…

👉 Founding members began inviting other badass entrepreneurs to join Stealth Mastermind, and every new member brought even more energy.

👉 Members began reporting hugely transformational experiences within weeks or months — not years.

👉 And tons of them are using that transformation as a launchpad into a brand new venture.

Here are a few things they told me. 👇

And just the other day, one of our newest members, Ernie, reached out to say:

 “I wanted to let you know that just from the short time I’ve been in Stealth, I have gotten tremendous value. And it’s clear there’s so much more to come.”

The feeling is mutual, Ernie — you’ve already ignited some transformations in the group — myself included.

Ernie arrived at Stealth Mastermind in an unconventional way — he broke the rules. 👊

Even though Stealth is invite-only, Ernie was an avid reader of Drunk Business Advice, and decided to just apply without an invitation.

Fortune favors the bold.

And now, because of Ernie, I’m opening applications for Stealth Mastermind for the first time — ever.

👉️ But only for Drunk Business Advice readers. 🍻

👉️ And only for two weeks. ✌️

Want to apply?

Here’s what you need to do 👇

• Go here

• Hit “apply”

• When the application asks “Who invited you?”, write “Ernie the Attorney” 

If you are even a fraction as cool as Ernie, Austin, Michael, Kirstin, Jason, and the other 70+ Stealth Mastermind members, I want to meet you.

Let’s chat.

Cheers! 🍻

-Kristin :-)

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