Numbers are boring. Especially if they’re naked.

Today we’re dressing your naked numbers in outfits so memorable they’ll strut straight into your reader’s brain—

And live there forever.

-Kristin 🍷

🍻 In today’s issue:

✏️ Sentence School: Unlike naked people, no one remembers naked numbers. Oh my. 🫣

🥃 The Writer’s Pour: Time to humanize your data.

🎙️ Drunk Talk: Sometimes writing sucks. And that’s ok.

🤖 Robot Pals: AI should be interviewing you.

Friends don’t let friends walk around naked… with their numbers.

You’ve probably heard a stat before, nodded, and then completely forgotten it five minutes later. It’s not because you’re a bad listener — it’s because human brains suck at remembering numbers.

Here’s the science-lite reason: 

Our working memory isn’t wired for calculation. We’re wired for comparisons (and, of course, stories.) 

Numbers on their own feel abstract. But the second you tie them to something visual, emotional, or relatable, the brain latches on like tequila to regret.

It’s called “humanizing data”. And it’s a nifty little trick to stick.

Take this example…

❌ “By 2050, there will be over 850 million tonnes of plastic in the ocean.”

That’s… a lot? I think? But I definitely won’t remember that number tomorrow. 

However, with one small change, this data becomes vividly sticky:

✅ “By 2050, there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish.”

Now you can see it. Dead sea creatures. Floating Pepsi bottles. Scale. Horror. It’s an image that sticks with you.

That’s because we think in comparisons, not equations. You can’t picture “850 million tonnes,” but the idea of “more plastic than fish” makes that abstract number mean something to you. It evokes emotion.

And emotion tags memory. If it makes you feel something, you’re more likely to recall it.

Also — stop throwing your goddamn plastic into the ocean. 🙄

Here’s how you can make your numbers memorable

I used this trick in my own origin story (which I shared with you a few weeks ago here).

Here was my problem—

I wanted to explain the force of a fall that caused me to break my hip. The raw data was technically correct, but it was lifeless:

❌ “When a figure skater falls on a jump, the downforce is 8-times their body weight.”

That line was so forgettable it might as well have been scribbled on a napkin and tossed in the trash. So I asked myself: what does that actually mean?

At the time, I weighed about 100 lbs (good lord, I’d love to have those days back). So 8-times my body weight was 800 lbs. But still — it’s hard to picture 800 lbs, right?

So I Googled “what weighs 800 pounds?” (this was long before ChatGPT).

And bingo — I got my answer! 👇

✅ “When a skater falls, the downforce is equivalent to a grand piano crashing onto a frozen sidewalk.”

Now we’ve got something visceral. You can hear the splinter of the wood, the snap of strings, the violence of the impact. That single comparison said more than any naked number ever could.

Here’s the process in a nutshell:

• Start with the raw stat: Don’t judge it yet. Just get the number on the page.

• Ask: What does that actually mean? Translate it into something the brain can picture.

• Find a comparison: Google it, ask AI, or brainstorm comparisons your audience would be familiar with.

• Frame it as an event: Don’t just state the number — stage it as a scene.

If you want people to remember your data — whether it’s a pitch deck, a keynote, or a LinkedIn post — don’t leave your numbers naked.

Dress it up in a comparison your audience can see, hear, or feel.

Numbers suck. Comparisons stick. Humanize that shit.

Dive into some exercises to put what you’ve just learned about humanizing data into practice. 👇️

Here are some examples:

Here’s are some examples:

Writing should be fun

But sometimes it isn’t.

If you’ve followed my advice up until now, and begun publishing content on a defined cadence, you’ve probably forced yourself to write when writing was the last thing you felt like doing.

Let me be clear — this can absolutely suck.

Struggling to meet a publishing deadline (that you’ve set for yourself, no less) can feel like trying to wring champagne out of a dish sponge.

But don’t worry, I’m going to reveal a trick that will make you love to write, even when you’d rather be explaining blockchain to your Aunt Muriel.

–

–

–

Sorry. 

There is literally no trick for this (that I know of, at least.) Forcing yourself to write when you’re not feeling inspired to write just plain sucks. But sometimes we have to do it.

So… we might as well reward ourselves when it’s done. 🍹

I’ve had an idea for a creative project that’s been swirling around in my brain for the last few weeks. It has literally nothing to do with my work.

It’s pure sparkle. 💫

So it’s hard to justify spending any time on it — especially with the piles of actual work I need to get done every day.

But after an insanely busy week, capped off by hitting ‘send’ on Sunday’s issue of Drunk Business Advice, I thought, “F*ck it. I deserve a reward.” So I dove into it.

Y’all — I can’t remember the last time I felt so energized! I stayed up until midnight on Sunday because I couldn’t walk away from this project. It fueled me up.

So here’s my advice—

After you get the sucky stuff done, reward yourself with something that excites you. It won’t make the sucky stuff not suck, but it will make the sucky stuff worth it.

AI should be asking you questions — not the other way around

If you caught Sunday’s issue of Drunk Business Advice, you might have picked up on this little nugget:

AI is a helluva lot better at asking questions than answering them. Especially if the questions are about YOU.

Using AI to interview you about your own life is a content goldmine. It will help you uncover stories you’ve long forgotten, lessons you never realized you learned, and ideas you never fully fleshed out.

But you have to –errr– ask it to ask you questions. And you have to ask it to ask you questions that are actually helpful, which can take some practice.

So here are a few prompts to get you started:

Any time you sit down to write something, have AI ask you 20 questions on that topic. It’s a killer way to prepare.

I challenge you to let AI interview you this week. Then hit reply to this email and tell me what you learned about yourself!

I don’t take my place in your inbox for granted.

It’s an honor to be welcomed into your world, and I know I have to work to continue to earn it, week after week. So if you have feedback, or if there’s a topic you want me to cover, just hit reply and tell me!

And if you love Drunk Writing Advice, consider sharing it with a friend. 🥰