About a year ago, I uploaded every issue of Drunk Business Advice into ChatGPT and asked it to analyze my writing.

It uncovered killer creative practices that I didn’t even realize I was deploying. Because frankly, I was writing pretty damn blind.

This was a transformative exercise for three reasons:

1. I could intentionally implement the practices ChatGPT had illuminated, rather than just crossing my fingers and hoping the shit I was pumping out was good enough for people to actually read. 🤞

2. I could drill down on why these practices worked. 🤔

3. And I could start teaching them. ♥️

Today, we’re going to cover one of my signature practices, (per the AI overlords)—

Dropping the reader into a shit-storm. 💩

-Kristin 🍷

🍻 In today’s issue:

✏️ Sentence School: Shit-storms are the new hooks.

🥃 The Writer’s Pour: Exercises that will help you lead with the most exciting parts of your story.

🎙️ Drunk Talk: I’m LinkedOut of LinkedIn. 

🤖 Robot Pals: This basic prompt will give you crazy clarity.

Screw hooks. Slide in with shit-storms instead.

What’s the difference between a story and a lecture?

A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end (like the Hero’s Journey we covered in a recent issue). That’s the formula. And if you want to be a good storyteller, you must master that formula.

But if you want to be a badass storyteller, after you master that formula, you gotta shred it.

In Hollywood, it’s called a “cold opening” — when they skip the setup, and smack the audience with a car chase, casino brawl, or carnal sex scene. 😳

In writing, we call it a “hook” — a sentence or two at the top of a story that draws the reader in.

But when ChatGPT analyzed my writing, AI opted to call it:

👉 Dropping the reader into a shit-storm.

Yep. That’s definitely my style.

This phrasing is surprisingly helpful because writing a “hook” feels so damn abstract. But “dropping the reader into a shit-storm” feels like an instruction that we can all follow.

And it does the same job of a “hook”, because it creates immediate questions in your reader’s mind that they’re dying to have answered.

So here are three powerful ways to drop your reader into a shit-storm. 👇

1. Start with action

Don’t give your readers any context — just kick things off with a high-stakes moment from somewhere in the middle of your story. Then circle back to fill in intellectual details after they’re emotionally invested.

Don’t forget to paint a vivid picture.

Here’s an example:

2. Start with a shocking statement

Hit your reader with an unexpected, jarring statement that forces them to read further. 

A great way to uncover this statement is write your story first, then pull out an emotionally-charged truth.

Then write it as if you were blurting it to a friend after two drinks — and stick it right at the top.

Here’s an example:

3. Start in the middle of a decision

You’re at a breaking point — forced to make a difficult choice with no time to hesitate. 

This is a riveting place to kick-off your story.

Here’s an example:

I know what you’re thinking — won’t readers be confused?

Yeah, a little. And that’s a good thing. 

The key is to delay explanations but not deny them entirely. A tantalizing hook without a meaty payoff is just clickbait. Don’t do that shit.

Dive into some exercises to put what you’ve just learned about dropping the reader into a shit-storm into practice. 👇️

Here are some examples:

Here’s an example:

I posted on LinkedIn every day for a month.

Ok, I did miss a few days, but I made up for them by posting twice before the end of the month. 😘

So why did I do this?

Because LinkedIn has been my primary growth lever for Drunk Business Advice since day one. It’s a pretty simple formula. 👇️ 

Back in February, I decided to challenge myself to post every day of the month. Since this is where my subscribers were coming from, why not double-down on it, and try to get more juice out of that squeeze, right?

It worked pretty damn well. I gained ~400 new followers on LinkedIn, and ~150 new subscribers for Drunk Business Advice.

So I decided to try the same thing again in August, but I made one change:

👉 I changed the link in the “View my newsletter” CTA to Drunk WRITING Advice.

Yep. This newsletter.

So instead of my core offer being free business content, it was not free writing content.

And just like last time, I gained over 400 followers in August. But not like last time, I gained ZERO newsletter subscribers (from LinkedIn, that is).

Ouch. I was expecting at least a handful.

As much as that hurts, it’s not a failure — it’s critical data.

While I still believe there are people on LinkedIn who would value Drunk Writing Advice,(and certainly plenty who need it), it’s not really a mecca for word-lovers who are willing to pay for a newsletter about writing.

But you know what might be?

👉️ Substack.

So I’ll be hanging out over there in September, and I’ll update you on what I find! 

Are any of you avid Substackers? Hit reply and give me all the tips. 🙏

You don’t know what you’re doing. But AI does.

Humans are horrible at evaluating themselves. Thank god we now have AI to cover that shit.

I was inspired to ask AI to analyze my writing for one very specific reason:

👉 People kept asking me for writing advice.

After the first few months of publishing Drunk Business Advice, I began getting messages from lovely readers asking if I had any tips to help them improve their writing.

I was, of course, incredibly flattered, and eager to help if I could.

But flattery quickly gave way to dread. Because in all honesty, I didn’t know what to tell them.

I didn’t have a “process” for writing DBA. It felt like I was just grasping at ideas, and somehow tying them together.

Frankly, it felt like talent — not skill.

But the only reason it felt like that was because I hadn’t evaluated anything that I was doing. I didn’t hold up a mirror to myself. I was blind to my own process.

Operating like that made writing feel chaotic — and it also made it impossible for me to help others.

It wasn’t until after I turned to AI to analyze my writing that I realized I did have a process. I did have a formula. I did have identifiable, teachable, and improvable skills.

You do, too.

So gather up some of your writing, and drop into AI with this prompt:

Try this and tell me if it was helpful!

I don’t take my place in your inbox for granted.

It’s an honor to be welcomed into your world, and I know I have to work to continue to earn it, week after week. So if you have feedback, or if there’s a topic you want me to cover, just hit reply and tell me!

And if you love Drunk Writing Advice, consider sharing it with a friend. 🥰